Our First Homemade Ethiopian Dinner!

We made Ethiopian at home last night for the very first time. I'm pleased to say it was delicious! We made Doro Tibs, Mesir Wat, Shiro Wat and Alecha Wat. All of my favourites!

Our friends volunteered to be our guinea pigs and they enjoyed it also!

It is very easy to make, but it takes a lot of chopping and preparation. It is also better if you let it simmer for a long time. Worth it in the end! The only negative about making it at home is that the house REEKS of berbere, garlic and onions. We entered the house this afternoon after church and the scent was overwhelming, lol!

We have tons of left overs (we made enough to feed 20, I think) if anyone wants to come over! :)

Does This Work?

I bought some white dishes to use for special occasions...then of course I needed red chargers for the plates for Xmas...but then I need napkin rings, napkins and placemats!!! Do these combinations work?

I have AOCD

Yep, that's right...I have AOCD...Adoption Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I realized this when reading the symptoms for AOCD (listed below). I have 6 out of 7 symptoms...the only symptom that is not currently presenting itself is #7 (demanding reassurance from my agency). I think that symptom will present itself closer to month 8 when I am close to a referral. My answers are in CAPITALS.

If you answer "yes" to any of the following questions you may need to be treated for Adoption Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (AOCD). You should immediately consult with family, friends, and especially fellow adoption bloggers.

 Repeated actions over and over - Do you ritually check adoption blogs and forums MANY times a day; especially at the most unusual/inappropriate times like during work or before your coat and shoes are off when you get home from being out for any amount of time? YES!

 Involuntarily persistent thoughts - Do you wake up every morning and go to bed each night (and most hours in between) thinking about adoption? Or do you find yourself trying to steer conversations onto the topic of adoption because it is the only topic you can seem to concentrate on for any period of time? YES and YES!

 Arranging and having things orderly - Do you keep a tracker and/or spreadsheet tracking wait times and referrals (if you use a color coding system, add two points to your score)? Or do you check other peoples trackers and/or databases to count where you are "in line"? NO and DEFINITELY YES!

 Aggressive or horrific thoughts - When people say "Hang in there!" and you smile and say "thanks", would you rather hang them? Or when people say "Good things come to those who wait", do you wonder if they have ever had to wait for something this important (we are talking about a baby, not dessert)? Or after someone says "Everything happens for a reason", would you like to smack them and say "I'll show you my reason!" YES, YES and YES!

 Uncontrolled emotions - When you see beautiful black babies at the grocery store do you become overwhelmed with emotion? Do you get disappointed when someone doesn't comment on your blog, even when you know lots of people are reading it? Do you scream into your pillow for, what seems like, no particular reason? OH YES! YES! YES!

 Repeated doubts - Do you wonder if your adoption will ever happen? Do you wonder if your file got lost/misplaced somehow, so technically, you are not on the "waiting list"? Do you ever think that they might forget you are waiting and skip your referral? ALL THE TIME. YEP. YEP.

 Demanding reassurance - Do you depend on regular updates and correspondence from your agency for your sanity? And if you don't hear from your agency, do you email and/or call them to subtly remind them that you are still waiting? NOT YET. NOT YET...GIVE IT TIME.

Think we can get this listed as an actual disorder? Treatments prescribed by doctor are trips to warm, tropical beaches. What d'ya think? ;)

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so this week has surely had its ups...many online friends received word that their court dates were successful. This means their child is now legally theirs and they will travel to Ethiopia within months to pick them up. I have been so excited and ecstatic about this. These are families were referred their child around the beginning of August and then were caught in court closures, adding 2-3 months to the process.

I am very sad to say this week has also had its downs. There are 4 families that I am aware of that did not have a successful court date due to a variety of reasons. This means their court date is rescheduled for January, adding more time to this crazy process. That just simply sucks! I am crying for them because I know how their hearts ache to know the face they've been staring at for months is legally theirs. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for them. I'm so angry that these delays are happening to them just because some paperwork was forgotten by a certain party.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(insert bad language here)

To my friends who are weeping today...I am weeping with you. I'm so sorry. There isn't anything I could say to help you and to make it better. Keep strong.

(insert more bad language here)

The Hardest Thing Ever

Sunday night I was unloading the car after being away for the weekend. The door bell rang and I thought it was my neighbour returning our key b/c she fed our cats for us. It wasn't, it was another neighbour with his daughter from across the street a few houses up the road. I was really curious as to why they were on our doorstep, they've never been too friendly before.

He asked if we owned a black cat with white paws. I own a black and white cat but not by that description and besides my cat was definitely in the backyard, I was just there with him when unloading the car. My neighbour said a cat just layed down in his backyard and was now deceased...could I come over and look.

I was nervous that it was my good friend's cat (same description) who was out of town. I have a key to their house so I went and checked. Both cats were in the house...phew!

I went across the street and into his backyard to see. It was really dark and I couldn't quite recognize the cat. I went to another neighbour's house and he graciously came out with gloves so we could take the collar and tags off to see who the cat belongs to (I just couldn't do it!). It turns out I did know the cat. His name is Zeus and he lives at the bottom of our street and we'd always talk with him and pet him when my husband and I would go for a walk. Very friendly and chatty. Crap...this means I had to tell the owner.

Here's the worst part...the neighbour who's yard this cat is in called Animal Control earlier (before coming to my house) to see if they could come deal with this cat. He was nervous and not being a cat owner didn't quite know what to do. You know what Animal Control said? They said the cat is on private property, just put it in a bag and leave it in the alley with the garbage. Excuse me? This is not just a cat, it is someone's life, someone's baby....you can't just leave it in the alley with the garbage! Outrageous and disgusting!

I knew that we couldn't leave the cat in the alley, the owner deserved to know...no matter how hard it is, I would want to know. Thankfully the cat did have tags, we knew Zeus...it was up to my husband and I to do it. We walked down and we were both so nervous ringing the doorbell...my knees were knocking. We told her (we'd never met previously) and... well....you can just imagine. The owner had just lost her other cat 2 months ago. I was crying with her.

We walked her back up the street, put Zeus in a box then walked her home. I felt so bad b/c she didn't have anyone at home that night...she was by herself. It was all I could think about last night and while trying to sleep.

I've been EXTRA cuddly with my babies...they don't quite know what to make of it. Arthur is on my lap while I sit at the breakfast bar eating oatmeal and writing this post, purring away. I can't imagine life without him.

Pets are our friends, our family, our confidantes, and sometimes the only 'person' who gives you unconditional love. They are not to be left in the alley.

Supportive Information

I found this post on a fellow adoptive parent's blog and have permission to post it here.

Supporting an Adoption

Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress.The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.

DO
1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
3. DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.

DON'T
1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own."
Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child."
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are
comfortable sharing.

Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption

DO
1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before
we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of parenting.

DON'T
1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birthfamily.

For additional helpful suggestions, please read "Supporting An Adoption" by Pat Holmes and/or "When Friends Ask About Adoption" by Linda Bothun.

Thank you 'LittleOne' for allowing me to post this. I would link your blog with your blog name, but I don't know how yet...I will when I figure it out. :)

Pay Attention to Me, Mom!

As a couple who has no children, we enjoy a peaceful and quiet household. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want (although we would gladly welcome the interruption of a child!). Right now, our attention can be focused on each other.

But our household is also home to 2 very loving and fun cats. While wrapping presents today (yes, I'm already wrapping Xmas presents-what else do I have to do?) I realized our cat Arthur has decided he needs ALL my attention...he's getting me ready for parenthood!

Pay Attention to Me, Mom!

Things to Look Forward to in November

I've been dreaming about our baby and trying to stay positive. I can feel the sadness closing in on me again...had a week's reprieve and I'm trying to claw my way out of the pit of despair. I know I am allowed to be sad once in a while, this is a very trying process. But I've been sad for far too long and need to keep positive. What will November bring that will help with the wait? (work is NOT included!)

*Xmas shopping

*visit with my in-laws

*visit with P & G and our godchildren?

*My BF is coming to visit! (haven't seen her in over 2 years!)

*off to Banff with J!

*Spa with J! (mani & pedi?)

*Ethiopian with S, J, J & I?

*Ethiopian dinner out with fellow adoptive families

*2 'small group' get togethers

*adoptive couples support group meeting

*Stampin'Up Party at B's

*Make Xmas cards

*Games night?

*Coffee with K

*Secret Pal surprise! (I added this a day after the above list...my secret pal has been stalking my blog anonymously and reminded me this should be on this list) (hee hee hee)

Hmmm...looks like a jam packed month. Good! Before I know it another month will have gone by. Oh ya...forgot 2 more things...LOTS of cuddles with my cats!