Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Sid and I are greeting at the Christmas Eve service at church tonight and then we're flying on Christmas Day (gotta love availability with Air Miles) to visit my aunt in Florida. We haven't seen each other in over 10 years so I'm looking forward to catching up with her. I'm amazed that she has been down there for 17 years now and I've never once gone to visit her. Huh? Why you ask? I have absolutely no idea! It boggles my mind. I hope that we can make it a semi-regular occurance to visit her when we have a child. I have visions of playing in the sand and wading in the ocean with my little one. Such fun!

2009 will bring a lot of joy to many families and make a lot of dreams come true. I am looking forward to entering into the year I become a mom. It has been a long journey to get to this point and it is definitely overdue to be my turn.

Have a fun and wonderful Christmas. For all you awaiting court dates I will be thinking about you often and praying for good news when I return. Emily, Jenny, Leah and Dianne...you are in my prayers all the time.

Merry Christmas!

The extent of decorating this year

I love the Christmas holidays and try to find the joy in the real reason for celebrating. Last year was a very difficult Christmas because we were shown for the first time for a potential domestic adoption and I got too excited too soon. I've learned after being shown about 6 times that you can't get attached and don't get your hopes up (ya right). Just a couple of days before Christmas (last year) after an entire week of waiting for the phone to ring (will it be a 'yes' or a 'no') we were told it was a 'no'. We hadn't slept or eaten in a week and it was such a devastating thing to hear. I didn't decorate last year, I was so devastated. We didn't put up the tree, no garland on the fireplace, no garland/lights outside on the porch. Nothing. We were in such a funk (which lasted most of the past year, actually, due to adoption related stress).

This Christmas I am a little more upbeat because I know that God will give me an incredible gift next year but for right now I really am not in the mood to decorate. I really do love it, but I'm just not in to it this year, maybe because we don't have family in the city and we're going to be out of the country over the holidays. I've done a little bit of decorating and that is it for this year. Now...next year will be a completely different story but this year I am going to visit my aunt in Florida and just simply relax and forget about the world for a week. Then I will come home to 2009, the year I become a mom. How amazing is that?

So for this year I share what minimal decorating I've done and wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Kisses in the Wind

KISSES IN THE WIND

I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.
I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.

Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.

Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.
May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

--- Unknown ---

OH- To Be A Cat In Our House!

I was just making lunch and walked in to the living room...had to share this:

His life sure has changed! He used to be a stray rural cat who lived in -40 degree weather OUTSIDE all winter. He now lives in the suburbs of the big city! It is -25 degrees with the windchill and he's inside stretched out on the couch with the fireplace on. Ahhhh, this is the life!

Daydreaming

The adoption blogger friends I have will probably have seen this poem so I am posting it more for family and friends. I 'borrowed' this poem from a fellow adoption blogger and started crying when I read it. Although we are nowhere near receiving a referral it describes where I am. I daydream about our child all the time.

Daydreaming

I stepped into her room today
Knowing she’s not there
This waiting for referral
Is more than one can bear

But taking in the moment
I sit down on the floor
And dream of her here with me
When waiting is no more.

A little giggle fills the air
As I rub her feet
I place my hand upon her heart
To feel its every beat.

A song is sung so very soft
Her eyes begin to close
She’s meeting me in dream land
A place where love still grows.

My vision now is very blurred
The tears stream down my cheeks
I’ve dreamed of her quite often
Throughout these past few weeks.

Suddenly a sound is heard
The phone rings in the hall
Waking up I quickly pray
Please let it be “The Call”.

By Tom Fisher

Merry Christmas to YOU!

So most of the people who read my blog are part of the yahoo forum and you will already know this news...after a few weeks of referral drought there were two more referrals announced today. One for a 7 month baby boy (after just over 7 months of waiting for a referral-YES!) and one for twin 3 1/2 year olds, a boy and a girl, (after 1 year of waiting for a referral). Congratulations C/D & M/D...I am praying that the rest of the process goes quickly and smoothly for you. What an amazing Christmas present!

Keep the good news coming!

Our First Homemade Ethiopian Dinner!

We made Ethiopian at home last night for the very first time. I'm pleased to say it was delicious! We made Doro Tibs, Mesir Wat, Shiro Wat and Alecha Wat. All of my favourites!

Our friends volunteered to be our guinea pigs and they enjoyed it also!

It is very easy to make, but it takes a lot of chopping and preparation. It is also better if you let it simmer for a long time. Worth it in the end! The only negative about making it at home is that the house REEKS of berbere, garlic and onions. We entered the house this afternoon after church and the scent was overwhelming, lol!

We have tons of left overs (we made enough to feed 20, I think) if anyone wants to come over! :)

Does This Work?

I bought some white dishes to use for special occasions...then of course I needed red chargers for the plates for Xmas...but then I need napkin rings, napkins and placemats!!! Do these combinations work?

I have AOCD

Yep, that's right...I have AOCD...Adoption Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I realized this when reading the symptoms for AOCD (listed below). I have 6 out of 7 symptoms...the only symptom that is not currently presenting itself is #7 (demanding reassurance from my agency). I think that symptom will present itself closer to month 8 when I am close to a referral. My answers are in CAPITALS.

If you answer "yes" to any of the following questions you may need to be treated for Adoption Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (AOCD). You should immediately consult with family, friends, and especially fellow adoption bloggers.

 Repeated actions over and over - Do you ritually check adoption blogs and forums MANY times a day; especially at the most unusual/inappropriate times like during work or before your coat and shoes are off when you get home from being out for any amount of time? YES!

 Involuntarily persistent thoughts - Do you wake up every morning and go to bed each night (and most hours in between) thinking about adoption? Or do you find yourself trying to steer conversations onto the topic of adoption because it is the only topic you can seem to concentrate on for any period of time? YES and YES!

 Arranging and having things orderly - Do you keep a tracker and/or spreadsheet tracking wait times and referrals (if you use a color coding system, add two points to your score)? Or do you check other peoples trackers and/or databases to count where you are "in line"? NO and DEFINITELY YES!

 Aggressive or horrific thoughts - When people say "Hang in there!" and you smile and say "thanks", would you rather hang them? Or when people say "Good things come to those who wait", do you wonder if they have ever had to wait for something this important (we are talking about a baby, not dessert)? Or after someone says "Everything happens for a reason", would you like to smack them and say "I'll show you my reason!" YES, YES and YES!

 Uncontrolled emotions - When you see beautiful black babies at the grocery store do you become overwhelmed with emotion? Do you get disappointed when someone doesn't comment on your blog, even when you know lots of people are reading it? Do you scream into your pillow for, what seems like, no particular reason? OH YES! YES! YES!

 Repeated doubts - Do you wonder if your adoption will ever happen? Do you wonder if your file got lost/misplaced somehow, so technically, you are not on the "waiting list"? Do you ever think that they might forget you are waiting and skip your referral? ALL THE TIME. YEP. YEP.

 Demanding reassurance - Do you depend on regular updates and correspondence from your agency for your sanity? And if you don't hear from your agency, do you email and/or call them to subtly remind them that you are still waiting? NOT YET. NOT YET...GIVE IT TIME.

Think we can get this listed as an actual disorder? Treatments prescribed by doctor are trips to warm, tropical beaches. What d'ya think? ;)

ARGHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so this week has surely had its ups...many online friends received word that their court dates were successful. This means their child is now legally theirs and they will travel to Ethiopia within months to pick them up. I have been so excited and ecstatic about this. These are families were referred their child around the beginning of August and then were caught in court closures, adding 2-3 months to the process.

I am very sad to say this week has also had its downs. There are 4 families that I am aware of that did not have a successful court date due to a variety of reasons. This means their court date is rescheduled for January, adding more time to this crazy process. That just simply sucks! I am crying for them because I know how their hearts ache to know the face they've been staring at for months is legally theirs. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better for them. I'm so angry that these delays are happening to them just because some paperwork was forgotten by a certain party.

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(insert bad language here)

To my friends who are weeping today...I am weeping with you. I'm so sorry. There isn't anything I could say to help you and to make it better. Keep strong.

(insert more bad language here)

The Hardest Thing Ever

Sunday night I was unloading the car after being away for the weekend. The door bell rang and I thought it was my neighbour returning our key b/c she fed our cats for us. It wasn't, it was another neighbour with his daughter from across the street a few houses up the road. I was really curious as to why they were on our doorstep, they've never been too friendly before.

He asked if we owned a black cat with white paws. I own a black and white cat but not by that description and besides my cat was definitely in the backyard, I was just there with him when unloading the car. My neighbour said a cat just layed down in his backyard and was now deceased...could I come over and look.

I was nervous that it was my good friend's cat (same description) who was out of town. I have a key to their house so I went and checked. Both cats were in the house...phew!

I went across the street and into his backyard to see. It was really dark and I couldn't quite recognize the cat. I went to another neighbour's house and he graciously came out with gloves so we could take the collar and tags off to see who the cat belongs to (I just couldn't do it!). It turns out I did know the cat. His name is Zeus and he lives at the bottom of our street and we'd always talk with him and pet him when my husband and I would go for a walk. Very friendly and chatty. Crap...this means I had to tell the owner.

Here's the worst part...the neighbour who's yard this cat is in called Animal Control earlier (before coming to my house) to see if they could come deal with this cat. He was nervous and not being a cat owner didn't quite know what to do. You know what Animal Control said? They said the cat is on private property, just put it in a bag and leave it in the alley with the garbage. Excuse me? This is not just a cat, it is someone's life, someone's baby....you can't just leave it in the alley with the garbage! Outrageous and disgusting!

I knew that we couldn't leave the cat in the alley, the owner deserved to know...no matter how hard it is, I would want to know. Thankfully the cat did have tags, we knew Zeus...it was up to my husband and I to do it. We walked down and we were both so nervous ringing the doorbell...my knees were knocking. We told her (we'd never met previously) and... well....you can just imagine. The owner had just lost her other cat 2 months ago. I was crying with her.

We walked her back up the street, put Zeus in a box then walked her home. I felt so bad b/c she didn't have anyone at home that night...she was by herself. It was all I could think about last night and while trying to sleep.

I've been EXTRA cuddly with my babies...they don't quite know what to make of it. Arthur is on my lap while I sit at the breakfast bar eating oatmeal and writing this post, purring away. I can't imagine life without him.

Pets are our friends, our family, our confidantes, and sometimes the only 'person' who gives you unconditional love. They are not to be left in the alley.

Supportive Information

I found this post on a fellow adoptive parent's blog and have permission to post it here.

Supporting an Adoption

Many times, well-meaning relatives, friends and co-workers do things or make comments that unintentionally cause pre-adoptive and/or adoptive parents unnecessary emotional stress.The following is a quick guide that may be copied and distributed to those people in an effort to educate them on how they can support you during the adoption process.

DO
1. DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
2. DO accept our choice of a child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
3. DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
4. DO offer to give practical help if you don't mind giving us your time.
5. DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.

DON'T
1. DON'T tell us that if we adopt a child we will get pregnant and have a child of "our own."
Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be "our child."
2. DON'T react as if adoption is a "second best" or "noble" choice.
3. DON'T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
4. DON'T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt.
5. DON'T probe for details about the birth parents or the child. We'll tell you whatever we are
comfortable sharing.

Some Tips on How You Can Help us During the Post Adoption

DO
1. DO be happy for our new child and us.
2. DO respect that we may want and need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
3. DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before
we became parents.
4. DO respect our style of parenting.

DON'T
1. DON'T feel sorry for our adopted child.
2. DON'T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
3. DON'T criticize the desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child's birthfamily.

For additional helpful suggestions, please read "Supporting An Adoption" by Pat Holmes and/or "When Friends Ask About Adoption" by Linda Bothun.

Thank you 'LittleOne' for allowing me to post this. I would link your blog with your blog name, but I don't know how yet...I will when I figure it out. :)

Pay Attention to Me, Mom!

As a couple who has no children, we enjoy a peaceful and quiet household. We can do whatever we want, whenever we want (although we would gladly welcome the interruption of a child!). Right now, our attention can be focused on each other.

But our household is also home to 2 very loving and fun cats. While wrapping presents today (yes, I'm already wrapping Xmas presents-what else do I have to do?) I realized our cat Arthur has decided he needs ALL my attention...he's getting me ready for parenthood!

Pay Attention to Me, Mom!

Things to Look Forward to in November

I've been dreaming about our baby and trying to stay positive. I can feel the sadness closing in on me again...had a week's reprieve and I'm trying to claw my way out of the pit of despair. I know I am allowed to be sad once in a while, this is a very trying process. But I've been sad for far too long and need to keep positive. What will November bring that will help with the wait? (work is NOT included!)

*Xmas shopping

*visit with my in-laws

*visit with P & G and our godchildren?

*My BF is coming to visit! (haven't seen her in over 2 years!)

*off to Banff with J!

*Spa with J! (mani & pedi?)

*Ethiopian with S, J, J & I?

*Ethiopian dinner out with fellow adoptive families

*2 'small group' get togethers

*adoptive couples support group meeting

*Stampin'Up Party at B's

*Make Xmas cards

*Games night?

*Coffee with K

*Secret Pal surprise! (I added this a day after the above list...my secret pal has been stalking my blog anonymously and reminded me this should be on this list) (hee hee hee)

Hmmm...looks like a jam packed month. Good! Before I know it another month will have gone by. Oh ya...forgot 2 more things...LOTS of cuddles with my cats!

Stupid Things People Say

When you haven't been through an experience that someone else has gone through or is going through you can't say to them that you really understand. The same thing goes for infertility or the process of adoption. If you haven't experienced it like I have, you truly can't understand what it has been like.

I've been thinking about a few things that have been said to me in the past 6 years where I just have either looked stunned or just had to inwardly shake my head in attempt to avoid exploding.
1. "Once you adopt you'll get pregnant."
*Yep-we've all heard that one before. You know what? Some people just can't get pregnant! It isn't possible and will never happen. Give it up already. I have!
*When you are adopting it doesn't matter if you can or cannot get pregnant at that point. Having an adopted child is the same thing as having a bio child!!! Treat it as such!

2. "You just haven't prayed hard enough."
*Yep, someone actually said that to me. It deserves no comment.

3. "How can someone just give their baby away?"
*Placing a child for adoption has involved months of thought, heartache and tears. A mother doesn't just willy nilly place her child for adoption. She makes the biggest sacrifice for her child so her child can have a better life. She isn't 'giving' it away. I have a tremendous amount of respect for birth moms...I love my birth mom already. I think about her ALL the time and I don't even know her.

This is one added by a fellow blogger and one I've heard MANY times over:
4. "You are lucky, at least you won't have to deal with getting pregnant and being fat."
*Yes, I am lucky! Being an adoptive parent is a true blessing and gift from God! (My response)
*But I am getting fat! I'm gaining weight being depressed because I have no control over when I will have a baby. (My response)

Another from a fellow blogger:
5. 'Oh, you're adopting just like Madonna and Angelina Jolie.'
*Yep, just like Madonna and Angelina Jolie. Only they don't have to remortgage their house just to finance the adoption. (My response: ok, I'm exaggerating...just a home equity loan...)

There have been other comments made that I just can't remember at the moment. I'm sure you have others. Please let me know and I'll add them to the list. It is important that we help others understand what type of comments help and which do not. Saying something 'thoughtful' versus the first thing that comes into your head.

In a Good Place Right Now

So this trying to have a family for the past 6 years thing has obviously been an up and down roller coaster (mainly down), but I'm feeling up right now. Let me share why. About a week or so ago I was venting to my good friend on facebook about all the people I know right now who are pregnant. Of course I am excited and overjoyed for them but what you need to know is that the hardest thing to deal with is that many have met their husbands, gotten married and are now pregnant in less time (by years!) than we've been trying to start our family. Some are on baby #2 or #3. That's a hard pill to swallow. It gets harder and harder to paste the smile on your face and pretend you aren't hurting or feeling sorry for yourself inside.

But my friend's response was this: Your time will come and it will be great. All those people you have supported will come together and celebrate you in your journey as a family.

This has had a great impact on me the past week. She let me bitch and was there for me, continuing to be a tremendous support in this incredible experience and let me know that it will happen and she, along with everyone else who loves us, will also be there right along with us.

For anyone who doesn't know what it is like to experience infertility or the waiting pains of adoption it is hard because there is no belly showing off to the world that you are going to be a mom, there are no ooohs and aaaahs or shrieks of congratulations.

From the time a woman finds out she is pregnant she can pretty much guarantee that in less than 9 months there is a prize at the end of the labour (all going well, of course). She knows when she will hold her baby. With international adoption, not so much..it isn't as straight forward as that. A woman who decides she will become a mom by adopting internationally has already grieved the dream of being pregnant, suffered through infertility treatments (most likely) and is aching to be a mom and feels there is no end in sight.

When you decide to adopt internationally it can take almost a year to get a homestudy done and a dossier compiled, completed and to arrive in the country of adoption. Then she has to wait months and months for a referral, MONTHS to see the very first picture of her baby (similar to an ultrasound per se?). MONTHS! Some women have had to wait 15 months! Then before she can hold her baby in her arms (instead of the dolls she buys for her baby) she has to wait months longer and watch her baby reach milestones in photographs, in a country on the other side of the world. She thinks the end will never come. She crys and crys until she thinks she cannot cry any more. She shops and shops to fulfill the void because she just doesn't know when she can hold her baby.

I have grieved the loss of the dream of being pregnant (2 years ago, in fact). I have the blessing of becoming an adoptive mom, I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world! My friend's response helped me realize that the jubilation, the congratulations, the celebrations WILL happen. Over the past 6 years it seemed like it was never going to happen, I've been very depressed about it for the past 6 months. But now I am at the top of the roller coaster (for now). My friends and family WILL celebrate with us...we are not alone in this wait...they are waiting just as anxiously as we are. That the day we receive the call, they will also cry tears of joy (probably not the UGLY CRY that I will cry, but tears all the same).

Thank you to my friend for supporting me, letting me bitch when I need to and helping me though this. You know who you are.

To everyone else who is riding this crazy ride with us...thank you. Start buying bottles of champagne....we're gonna have one heck of a party! The day is coming!

My Prayer

While praying in church yesterday it came to me...my baby is alive right now! Either in utero or just a little baby!

I pray for this little baby and for its birth mother...for the trials and tribulations they are experiencing or will experience...for the difficult decision she will make for her child to have a life with us. My greatest joy in life will be her greatest loss and sacrifice.

I pray that God watches over them, keeps them safe and in good health. I love this child and its mother already, someone I don't know and haven't met...my heart aches for them. Please watch over them Lord.

Welcome to the World Alexander!

It's a boy!!! (No, not my boy, but I probably shocked you there for second)....my good friend Carol phone this evening to announce she had a baby boy yesterday...Alexander Michael...7 pounds, 14 ounces, born a week early. Because Carol's first son was born a week late this was a total shock when she phoned to say Alex was here! Congratulations Carol, Andrew and big brother Charlie!!!

Carol- Congratulations on a dream come true. I can't wait to meet your little guy. Here's the coolest thing...our kids will be soooooo close in age!!! Wish we lived closer...I would be over right away. Love you guys!

Thanks Secret Pal!

I have a secret pal! I belong to an online group of Canadian adoptive parents who have adopted or are in the process of adopting. We just started a new secret pal exchange that lasts until March. So what happens is that you are matched up with another adoptive parent and you become their secret pal. Once a month you send your person a special something according to the theme for that month. October (the first month) was "Something special for mom...isn't waiting fun?".

My secret pal is FAST! We were just assigned our pals on Monday...and the package arrived Friday!!!!! Sid checked the mail today when he went to rent a movie...I was so surprised and excited to receive my package. Here is what my secret pal sent me:

• My first Parents magazine!!! (this means alot b/c it validates the whole process...that I am 'expecting'...I'm just waiting for my baby!)
• Body Shop Cranberry Body Lotion, Soap and Shower Gel! This is my favourite scent from the Body Shop! And a Loofah Sponge...I needed a new one!
• MMMM....Purdy's Chocolate (smiley faces...to brighten my day! ...matches the smiley faces on the card)
  

MMMMM! Chocolate!!

I'm going to draw a hot bath, relax, chill out and read my magazine...enjoy the solitude while I still can! (I already ate one of the chocolate smiley faces!)

Thank you Secret Pal!

Tidbits

So my plans for the evening were cancelled which I am very disappointed about...I was looking forward to this evening all week. I wasn't sure what to do with myself tonight so of course I peeked in the nursery and decided to take a few more pics...I am sharing this on my blog b/c I have zero family in Calgary and have friends and family spread all across the country...this is my way of 'being pregnant' and allowing others to share in my joy...some may not be interested and that's ok. Not a problem. But for those interested...

Off topic: This is a pic of my living room (not related to adoption at all). I just put up the words above the window last weekend...it says Live Well Laugh Often Love Much. I think it looks really good. My former colleague's husband made it for me. See my cute little kitty (Arthur) sitting on the ottoman.

This is the highchair my future child will throw food from and make a mess of my currently clean and tidy house...can't wait! Spaghetti on the walls, peas on the floor...ahhhhh bliss! My friend Kathleen passed this on to us...what a generous person! I am so grateful for good friends!

I'm not sure if I've posted this previously...this is a cute growth chart that you hang on the wall. You can also put in pics of the child. Too cute! I actually bought this in Target in Salt Lake City. Was interesting trying to get it home on the plane!

2 toys...not sure what to call them...generously given to us from Heather (she also gave us her crib).

Edmonton Oilers set of dishes and cutlery given to us from Arlene. So adorable! My husband is an Oilers fan...he just loves this.

Our stroller...just love it! Kathleen also kindly passed this on to us. It was stored in the nursery and I'm proud to say I figured out how to unfold it to take this picture...I'm embarassed to say I can't get it to fold back down! LOL! Help!

Looking at the items I've shown I'm relieved to see that they were all graciously given to us...makes me feel better to know I didn't buy them during one of my baby shopping sprees...that the reason I can't close the closet door in the nursery isn't all my doing! HA!

Food for Thought

I read the following on a fellow adoptive-mom-to-be's blog. Just thought this would be good for everyone to read!

Ways to support an adoptive family.

1. If you're asked to write a reference letter for the Home Study or grant, do it promptly. It will mean a lot to the family to know their adoption is a high priority for you too.

2. Especially if the wait drags on a long time, don't constantly ask if they've heard any news. Some moms adore giving you the blow by blow during the wait. But many moms find the wait difficult, and get tired of saying, "No, we still don't know when he/she is coming home." Ask instead how the nursery is coming along, or invite her out to lunch.

3. Throw them a baby shower and/or bring baby gifts before the child comes home. Honor the adoptive mom with your faith that this will happen for her. But it is a good idea to ask the mom-to-be if she would like the shower before or after the child is home.

4. Do treat them like parents-to-be. If you would give a pregnant friend or family member something for Mother's Day (or Father's Day) then do the same for the adoptive couple. Or even Christmas. A special Waiting ornament.

5. Tell them you are praying for them. If there is a delay find out what it is so you can pray specifically and ask (once in awhile) if there is any new news. (paperwork delay, accreditation)

6. I liked it when people said things like "Getting excited?". It acknowledged we were "expecting" in a positive way. Another good thing to say was "Do you need anything" or "can I do anything for you"?

7. Keep your judgements to yourself. And don't question their decisions.

8. Do share any positive stories you know about adoption and suppress the desire to tell every adoption horror story you've ever heard.

9. The other thing that makes me feel like an "expectant" mom, is people asking what I need. "I have an exersaucer/stroller/high chair you can have?", etc.

10. Do give empathy: I got a hug and the simple words "this waiting must be so hard." from someone I hardly knew. It meant the world to me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sid is going to start developing the basement next weekend so that we have more living space for a child to play in. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

We had a very nice Thanksgiving with my brother and dad (I had to tear apart the nursery and move everything to one side to make room for my dad to sleep...sometimes being too organized is not a good thing!). Sid and I made our 4th turkey ever and it turned out to be delicious...I even stuffed the turkey myself...my mom will be proud! :) I kept thinking that maybe for next year's Thanksgiving we'll have a little one to run after! Can't wait!

What are you thankful for? I am thankful for my family, friends and wonderful husband. I'm thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to become a mother through adoption. Here's to a great year ahead full of joy for all the adoptive parents-to-be out there! I hope your wait is short and blessings are many. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Mmmmm...mmm...good Part 2

So Sid, Jason, Ida and myself FINALLY went out for Ethiopian...(Lisa, Dave and Jay-we missed you...maybe next time?)....We went to Fassil, which is an Ethiopian restaurant here in the city. It is a small, quaint place with no fancy decor...you're definitely there for the food!

Sid was quite amazed by the price of beer $3.00...when he commented on this the waitress joked that she could charge him $15.00 per bottle. :)

The food was excellent and it is nice for us to be able to look at the menu and know what we are ordering now that we have a few Ethiopian meals under our belts!

We ordered a number of different dishes (Doro Wat, Gomen, Shiroh, Misir Wat, Alecha (sp?), lamb, ground beef) and shared from the same platter. My favourite always seems to be the Misir Wat and Shiroh. Mmmm!

Diggin' in! So delicious! Great food...great friends...great conversation.

Smile Ida! I'm happy...just took 2 muscle relaxants for my neck...strained it that day and couldn't move my neck.

I would definitely recommend Fassil Restaurant. The price was very reasonable, food was excellent the the staff were nice and very friendly, although not in a hurry to provide quick service. It was an evening to sit back, relax and enjoy the food and friends.

Mmm...mmm...good!

Sid and I went to an Ethiopian cooking demonstration yesterday and had an absolute blast! The two Ethiopian women teaching the cooking class were so warm and friendly! One gave me her phone number so that I can call her if I need her help with Ethiopian cooking. We were there with about 12 other adoptive couples who have adopted or are adopting from Africa.

Off topic: One couple we met had their dossier sent to Ethiopia at the same time as ours and it arrived on the same day. I wouldn't be surprised if they were sent in the same package. This means we are both on the same timeline and we're hoping we'll be able to travel at the same time!

We learned how to make a number of different Ethiopian dishes: Tibs (Sauteed Beef), Shiroh (Ethiopian Pea Stew), Misir Wet (Red Lentil Stew), Gomen (Spinach) (and another dish with potato and cabbage but I don't know the name of it). I sure wish I brought my camera to share pics with you. The dishes were incredible! If you haven't yet tried Ethiopian, I would suggest it! Scrumptious!

While cooking, the 'instructors' shared with us the the way they would cook the dishes while in Ethiopia vs. Canada. To bring out the flavour of the food it is better to let the food simmer over a long period of time. You can cook it quickly (we are always in a rush!) but for gourmet flavour let it simmer slowly.

The main ingredients for Ethiopian seems to be tons of butter, tons of salt, and onions. Tomato, garlic and ginger are also important along with fresh spices (berbere).

We learned that it is better to buy the injera at a local Ethiopian store instead of trying to make it yourself. It is difficult to get the right consistency and the proper thickness.

Here are some websites that were provided:

http://www.fooddownunder.com/
http://www.yewoinfamilycooking.com/
http://www.ethiopianspices.com/

We were able to take home some Shiroh (for the pea stew) and Bebere (mixture of spices) so that we can try to make these recipes at home! Give us a few trials before we invite you over!

This says it all

I spend alot of time just browsing adoption blogs to connect with other women who are feeling the same frustrations as I am. I found this poem on one blog that puts what I feel on a daily basis into words (although I don't feel like I am waiting 'alone' as it says in the poem. I have a great husband, friends and family who are all waiting in anticipation)

Song of the Waiting Mother
I'm pregnant, but my tummy isn't growing.
And no one ever calls me "Little Mom."
The public simply isn't overflowing
With questions that I'd handle with aplomb.

There are no special clothes to mark my waiting.
Nobody stops and smiles as I pass by.
The absence of a due-date is frustrating
And looking at the nursery makes me cry.

When I'm overdue no one will worry.
The phone won't ring and ring as friends check in.
I can't induce my labor in a hurry,
My new life as a parent to begin.

Adoption is a worrisome endeavor,
And waiting all alone is not much fun.
To be "with child" a year seems like forever.
Dear God, we're ready! Please send us our little one!

Orphanage for HIV/Aids children

As I have mentioned, I am part of an online group of adoptive parents who are adopting from Ethiopia. One of the members (Sandi) has a sister (Meg) who has just recently opened a new orphanage for AIDS orphans in Ethiopia! Here is a link to the blog for FAYA.

http://fayaorphanage.blogspot.com/

I know many our family and friends may be interested in sponsoring a child in Ethiopia. Here is the perfect place to sponsor a child and we know where the money is going! Please consider helping Sandi and Meg help these children. Children that are HIV positive pretty much have no chance to be adopted or be part of a family. This orphanage, the caregivers and the other children will be their families and they need your help!

Something to Share

Someone on the yahoo group I belong to shared this and I thought I'd share it with you! *smile*

ADOPTIVE MOTHERS

Being an adoptive mother is not for every woman. She must possess not only the natural mother instinct but an understanding and appreciation of the situation hat brought a child into her arms making her a mother. The adoptive family comes to be by choices made, choices made by the first parents and by the adoptive parents. This bond the adoptive mother has with her child grows over time, like the child did within his first mother’s womb.

Day by day, touch by touch, with each tear, kiss and memory made they become a family. Adoptive mothers have that special knack to let love grow.

Adoptive mothers know that she’s a mender of wounds, not just of the physical skinned knees with a band-aid and a kiss, but of the heart. She gives love, acceptance, and permission to ask and talk about the day he was born and of his first parents.

Adoptive mothers are embracers, not only of the child with many hugs and kisses, but of the child’s heritage and history. She embraces the facts of her child’s past with strength for herself and the child. She’s not only a memory maker planning family vacations, activities, and birthday parties, but also a memory keeper.

She’s a tier of shoelaces and of hearts. She weaves lives together into a tapestry of a new family, with many different brightly colored threads showcasing their individualities and family origins. Together they create one unit attached to each other.

Adoptive mothers are experts at finding lost objects, but understand and validate the profound, deep loss left by adoption. She allows the tears to fall and grief to be felt, allowing the mourning of the mom not there. She is secure in knowing that she’s not a replacement, but a finisher of a race for someone who, for whatever reason, could not run any longer.
This role is not for the weak of spirit, or the easily wounded. Loving a child not born to her but calling him her own, but this is what she does, it is her calling…..She is a mother.

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